10. Learning to LOVE… “ToDether”

     This is the month of February, when many people celebrate love and Valentine’s day. And contrary to how it’s advertised or promoted, I’ve come to realize that there are many kinds of love. In honor of this month of love, I want to focus on a special kind of love that young children carry.
       I have the blessing of having grandchildren from 2 ½ to 13 years of age, and each of them has their own spirit, their own gifts and their own way of showing love. To say I feel a deep love for my grandchildren is an understatement. Talk to any grandparent and they will tell you, after showing picture after picture, that somehow grandchildren can reach you in a way that for some of us, we didn’t know existed. I’ve seen super tough guys who raised their own children with an iron fist, melt in the midst of their grandchildren. I’ve seen strong mujeres who would scare you with “that look,” defend the little ones at every turn. My own mother, who was pretty strict with her rules with us growing up, allowed her grandkids to jump on the couch (we would have gotten our butts beaten for that) and walk around the house eating a tortilla with butter (we had to keep our food in the kitchen). And those grandkids could make my mom talk to them in a baby-like voice, whenever they played.
        What I was told by several wise grandmothers is that young children still carry the Spiritual Love from their ancestors, and that type of love is the strongest medicine. That medicine can, many times, penetrate rigid roles and expectations, and navigate through years of trauma. I also think that many of us who didn’t get that unconditional love, or had it scared out of us at an early age, long for someone to see us, acknowledge us as we are, without judgement, and bless us up with that medicinal love.
        But what I have also come to realize is that in order for us to be able grow, relearn and cultivate this type of love, we must be willing to do it, as my grandson says in his two-year-old voice, “ToDether, Tata" (Together, Tata). He often demands for me to play, sing, run or laugh with him, ToDether.
        What I began to understand is that he was inviting me to be in sacred relationship with him through simply playing. And as silly or uncomfortable as it may be for me, because I’m not used to it, I have the option of allowing him to teach me how to be in love with the moment, with the experience, and with the beauty of this little boy.
     I’ve had those special moments with each of my grandkids, my kids, my companion, and others as well. But, it required me to challenge myself to get it ToDether. It meant I had to do my own work to deal with past fears, develop healthy boundaries where I felt safe to be in connection with someone else, and also know that I too deserve that sacred love. That love comes in many forms.

• It comes from the agape love of the Creator, the animals, and the beautiful elements of the universe that can show us so much peace.
• It comes from the philia love of friends, brotherly (Philadelphia), sisterly, homie and extended kinship relations.
• It comes from the eros love that is a passionate, sometimes sensuous, love that is often the only focus of Valentine’s Day.
• And finally, it comes from the storge love, the love of parents, grandparents, children and grandchildren, which includes yourself as well.

       They are all part of the 4 sacred directions of love. But it all begins with us opening that love portal, by knowing that we are a blessing and deserve to be loved; and that we have so much love to give as well.
     So please, consider in this month of February all those options and possibilities, and do something loving for yourself. Then share something loving with someone else. And finally, open yourself to the universe for a sign, a message, and maybe someone inviting you to spend a loving time, ToDether. 

Sending my love to all of you.

Maestro Jerry